Day 1, The Oval: England slowly build on a rain-marred day

Posted: August 19, 2011 by thecognitivenomad in Cricket, India in England 2011
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Chandrasekhar Jayarama Krishnan

Head of Cricket, The CouchExpert

19 August 2011

 

The only sign of aggression from the Indian bowlers on a rain-marred day, which lasted until lunch, was the quick bouncer from Ishant Sharma that took a piece of Strauss’ helmet on its way.

Humbly reluctant as I am to obtrude the lack of venom in the Indian pace attack, as I’ve already done during the most part of this series, signs of amelioration were hardly visible. There was more crowd movement behind the side screen at the start of the day than the movement extracted by the Indian seamers using the new ball.

Trapped in these webs of clueless lines and length was India’s newest addition RP Singh, who hasn’t played a test in a while. Like Praveen, his lack of pace does him no good but unlike the former, he didn’t appear intelligent enough. He had a great series in England back in 2007, and his Harmison-esque start to this test made one wonder whether he’s played any cricket at all during those four years.

India's only sign of aggression was a vicious bouncer from Ishant that damaged Strauss' hemlet

Cook and Strauss continued to grind the runs until the rain gods opened up to play spoilsport on an overcast day, conditions under which the Indian bowlers failed to shine. Barring the bouncer from Ishant, the Englishmen weren’t troubled as they continued to do what they did all series. And James Anderson, who was declared fit prior to the start of the game, will have more time to rest and have a go at the Indians – something that isn’t likely to happen before the 3rd day.

At 75-0, England will continue to pile on the runs, hopefully at a decent rate to annul the lost time on Day One. For India, a colossal change in approach, and performance, is needed.

The Oval Preview: Perspective India

Posted: August 18, 2011 by The CouchExpert in Cricket, India in England 2011
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 Goutham Chakravarthi

 18 August 2011


India scored over 500 runs in the first-innings at the Oval in their last two Tests here. Anil Kumble scored a Test hundred last time around! This time, however, Indian batting, has been a collective failure. In four Tests in 2007, not one top-order batsman got to a hundred though all but Dravid got close to it on multiple occasions. They were strong as a unit. This time, barring Dravid, hardly any one else seems capable of wielding the willow.

Still, it is hard to give up on this batting side. It is a far cry from the last time India were subjected to losing three Tests in a row – in Australia back in 1999-00. That was a team never expected to win and here is a team, which after three successive defeats, each progressively bigger than the previous one, there is still hope of a turn around. Only just.

Will the smiles return?

The break between the second Test and the third was expected to give them time to clear their thoughts as individuals and as a unit. Instead, they were handed a mauling by an impressive England unit with no apparent chinks. As the prospect of a whitewash looms large, India, with its perceivably wafer-thin bowling attack and a batting side equally thin on confidence, will need a remarkable turn around to stop England.

They are a team of impressive individuals made of the right stuff. Things that have defined them over the last decade – resilience, doggedness, scrap – have gone missing. Big runs have eluded their batsmen. In fact, they have been deprived of any runs at all. It has left the players and the fans stumped.

English bowlers have shown enormous precision in carrying out their plans. Their quick-bowling reserves seem to run deeper than the mental scars they have inflicted on Indian batsmen. Their lengths have been fuller, none more so than Broad, and they have managed to move the ball late both ways to make life suffocating for the Indians.

It is in this cauldron of relentless pressure that India’s batsmen have been found wanting. Rahul Dravid has been the lone exception. He has shown exceptional skill in handling the conditions and bowling. Tendulkar and Laxman have not been allowed to get away. The younger batsmen have been found out and must be wondering if they are good enough at this level.

It will take enormous discipline, grit and patience to wear such a potent bowling side. You would have expected this Indian batting side to do just that for they are good at it. For starters, they would, for a change want the openers to grind and battle conditions. Sehwag has had his success overseas giving this first session to the bowlers. He can make for lost time better than most. Gambhir needs a score. That both are coming back from injuries hasn’t helped India’s cause.

Tendulkar’s last average series came against a rampant Ajanta Mendis in Sri Lanka back in 2008. He looked unsure there like he has often done here. When he has been positive, like in the first innings at Lord’s, second innings at Trent Bridge and Edgbaston, he has hardly looked troubled. India will hope for a big innings from him and from another pillar of strength, Laxman, as it looks to pick up the pieces and put them back together.

Expect Kohli, R.P. Singh and Pragyan Ojha to be given a look in. Ojha is a tidy bowler with potential. He should exploit any spin and bounce available and R.P. Singh is a steady swing bowler who might trouble the English openers. India will sweat on the fitness of Praveen Kumar and will hope that he is available. Ishant has blown hot and cold. May be, the bounce at the Oval will be to his liking.

India needs big runs from the batsmen for its bowlers to pose a challenge to a rampant English top-order. It will be interesting to see their approach to this Test. One would think that holds the key to their success.

It is the neem effect says Flower

Posted: August 18, 2011 by The CouchExpert in Fiction
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 Srikrishnan Chandrasekaran

 18 August 2011

A visibly satisfied Andrew Flower addressed the media on the even of the last Test at The Oval. Excerpts from the interview:

Press: What is the secret behind England’s series win over India?

Flower: Our boys have been practising hard over the last 1 month under the neem tree. Due to neem impact, some of our boys like Broad, Bresnan and Swann have excekked beyond everyone’s imagination by scoring runs and taking wickets.

Flower attributed the success of his team to special practice under the neem tree

Press: What’s the reaction from the team after their series win?

Flower: Like I said earlier, they are in different world because of the neem tree practice and are by now used to making previously unimaginable comments on team India and its players.

Press: How tough it was for you to pick the team before this series?

Flower: England has got a good mixture of experience batsmen and bowlers. We were in a dilemma on whom to pick for series, I even personally suggested to the board to go for Onions instead of Broad.

Press: How was the team feeling and reactions after winning the first test match?

Flower: Strauss and other senior players came and shouted at me, “thank God we didn’t go by your words to drop Broad for this match, otherwise we would have end up in losing the test match.” After the test, even Board also requested me to keep silent through out the series

Press: How the English former players feel about this achievement?
Flower: You can very well see that every former player is writing articles and talking to the media that we outplayed India. Even Bresnan has publicly asked team India to go back home. It is team India who have given him the opportunity to be in the side by allowing him to score runs and take wickets in the series.  But nobody seems to have realized my true value to this team as it was me who requested Dhoni and his team to play as poor as they can so that we can win the series.

Resurrection Time!

Posted: August 18, 2011 by thecognitivenomad in Cricket, Opinion
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Sridhar Diwakar

August 18 2011

 

 

The English cricket team thrashed us. Let’s face it!

While the easiest thing to do now is castigate the ailing indian cricket team and sit back, there is something else which must be triggered. A Renaissance.

India needs to build for a stronger future

If you have a look at all the great teams in any sport across all eras, there was a point when they made a distinctive choice. First they built a vision plan. A strong definitve one. Then they built a talent base – and when I say built, they toiled. They developed processes, well researched ones. Processes which are independent of people. And finally they made sure that everything evolved – with time and with the latest developments, but around the strong theme laid down in their vision plan.

This is the need of the hour. This is the renaissance that i am talking of. A renaissance which starts with a choice.

And it’s not just in cricket. This renaissance has to come to each and every sport in our country. We have abundant talent, but we lack the necessary expertise and the will to nuture it. The Indian cricket team in England had all the big names in Indian cricket. Yet, they floundered. Some, due to injury, some due to lack of application. Some were simply outclassed. The Indian football, hockey and rugby teams have been thrashed on various occasions too. And what have we done to change all that. Has there been a change in the system as such? In the coaching and training methods? Not just in the national team but in the teams right from the grassroot levels? Has there been an upgradation in the infrastructure? Nope. Then why and how do we hope?

It’s not a series that we lost. It’s an opportunity lost. And with each opportunity lost, it’s respect lost for our nation. It’s the hope in the next gen’s hearts that we have lost. Unquantifiable yet profound!

If ever we were waiting for a jumpstart to set things right, this is it. It’s time to leap ahead. At times the best way forward is to step back a little. In this case we have been pushed too far back. Let that be an excuse for us to catapult ahead. Let’s prepare a robust system. We might still end up losing, but we will succeed in breeding many more Tendulkars, Bhutias, Bhupatis, Anands, Gopichands and Sainas. A fact that is sorely missing now. This is what will change the face of sports in India.

As Theodore Roosevelt so aplty put: “It is only through labour and painful effort, by grim energy and resolute courage, that we move on to better things.”

Batman Bresnan announces Englishmen as the alpha males of cricket

Posted: August 17, 2011 by The CouchExpert in Fiction
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 Goutham Chakravarthi

 17 August 2011


“Indians either need to learn to do banana splits to keep themselves warm or go back to India and start preparing for Champions League T20,” said Tim Bresnan, wearing a sleeveless shirt and a wrestler’s shorts, and flexing his biceps and then resting both his hands on his hips. But for the cape, you would call him Batman.

Bresnan has challenged the Indians to follow suit and try banana splits or go back home!

Bresnan added, “English boys are now the alpha males of cricket. Guys like Cook have reformed batting in the days of ugly swipes and heaves that are influenced by the blasphemy of the IPL. You cannot compare our extremely superior batting line-up to theirs. It is unfair. We pratice it as a sacred art – perfected by the likes of W.G. Grace, Hutton, Hobbs, Hammond and passed on to the likes of Boycott and now Cook. It is art in its purest form.”

Asked if it was a challenge to bowl to the likes of Rahul Dravid, Sachin Tendulkar and Laxman, he said the biggest challenge was not to be bowled over by a dozen middle aged men dressed like Britney Spears on the fancy dress Saturday in Birmingham. Once he could resist keeping his eyes off them, he said he had conquered his biggest challenge and Indians’ batting was nothing in comparison and pointed out that Sreesanth and Ishant couldn’t and suffered as a result.

With the Indian media contingent also not interested in the series after having to go through the arduous task of praising Cook’s batting for three days, the series sponsors, npower, tried to attract media personals to the press conference by arranging for a “Who has more tattoos” contest.England’s long list included two South Africans in Jade Dernbach and Kevin Pietersen and India were represented by Sreesanth.

Vaughan has appealed to stop worshipping Tendulkar and copy Tuffnel's batting instead

Sreesanth’s sledging of Dernbach’s tattoos notwithstanding, it took an accusation from Bresnan again to warrant Indian media interest back in the series. “Sehwag is the joker to this Batman,” he said referring to himself. He said, “Virender Sehwag is the most overrated of Indian batsmen as he is a flat track bully and cowers when touring abroad. Boycott’s mum had better technique against the moving delivery.”

When asked for a reaction, the former English skipper, Michael “Vaseline” Vaughan said, “It is about time people understood Indian ways do not work anymore. The Tendulkar way has not worked for Tendulkar himself and he should learn a thing or two from Cook. No surprise his clone Sehwag hasn’t done well. Time someone like Ravi Bopara learnt the lesson and stopped worshipping Tendulkar. Even mimicking Tuffnel’s batting technique would have given him a hundred runs at Edgbaston. If he did, we will have the best Indian in our team, like we have the best Zimbabwean and South Africans in our team!”

Bob Willis joined the bandwagon and said, “This entire series has been about Tendulkar getting his hundredth 100. Don’t you see that he wants to put himself along Bradman with the perfectly imperfect number 99? Their preparation and prioritization of the English tour has been abysmal. If Strauss wins the toss at The Oval, they should look to bat till lunch on Day 5 and declare. Indians have shown no stomach for fight and will disintegrate twice in the remaining two sessions. England might even win with a session to spare!”

Zaheer Khan is reported to have pocketed the coin that is to be used for the toss tomorrow to check his weight after being accused for being fat by Stuart Broad. The umpires and match officials were busy checking if a substitute coin will be allowed if the designated coin for the toss can’t be recovered and if there was a possibility of the match being called off in such a scenario.

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