The CouchExpert

Goutham Chakravarthi

Barely a fornight has passed since his wedding, R Ashwin, was widely expected to credit his recent success to his newly wed wife. The lanky Chennai offie who ‘edged’ his way to his maiden hundred on Friday credited his mother’s daddojanam (curd rice) for his success. He said, “Mom’s daddojanam is my favourite. Often it lulls me to sleep. I often end up yawning my way to some unexpected success like this afternoon. Credit to Mom.”

Chairman of selectors, K Srikkanth said, “I have known Ashwin for long, from the time he was a kid. Though a staunch Iyer, it is simply marvelous to know that he still manages to do trikala sandhyavandanam amid national duties. And he always has daddojanam with moru milagai (dried chillies) to spice himself up for the battle.”

Srikkanth also pointed out to the fact that Ashwin was an opener in his school days before he became a bowler. Ashwin’s wife, Preethi, said that the credit of Ashwin becoming a bowler should be given to Kabaleeswarar temple in Mylapore. She said, “Like most Indian boys, Ashwin was a batsman. When he took a fancy to me he would follow me to Kabaleeswarar temple every day. There he would sit opposite me in the temple and when hot pongal (rice porridge) was served to the devotees on bare hands, Ashwin would toss it from one hand to the other and roll it into a ball so as to not let the heat burn a hole in his hand, all the while sheepishly looking at me. He would roll pongal from right to left and left to right to left and thereby sowing the seeds for his offie and his carom ball.”

His childhood friend and schoolmate at PSBB (Padma Seshadri Bala Bavan), Senthilnathan, claims credit for his batting prowess. He says, “As a youngster, Ashwin was a poor batsman. He middled every delivery and played very straight and hit the gaps. It was so old fashioned. It was like watching a proper batsman and since we wanted some tail enders in the side, we had to teach him to inside edge a few and swing across the line every-now-and-then. He became a specialist no.11 for us who could nick when he wanted. He could nick it to slips or nick it on to the stumps as he wished. Now he is so good that he can inside edge it past the off-stump, leg-stump, over the middle stump and so on like you saw on Friday. He is the true pupil who has mastered the art. Barry Richards would be proud of his game.”

His father insisted that it was his IIT-JEE tuitions that proved the difference. “He could solve quadratic equations as a 5 year old. He could calculate 18339.678 times the 10^th root of 0.43 in less than 4 seconds. His grammar was sound and was poised to pursue education in America or England or both. He was a bright child. But one day, when he was about 12, he was tossing an orange from one hand to the other when I observed the rotations he imparted on the orange were so many it was more impressive than his calculus skills. When I asked him to arrive at the rotations per minute of the spin he imparted, he managed to write a quick C program on the computer to arrive at the figure of 1200 rpm. I asked him to spin the table fan and each of his spins would keep it going for 10 to 15 minutes and in summer, he spun the fans for all in the colony when the power was out. Then I knew that my son would not only be an engineer but a very fine spinner. He’s not let us down.”

Elsewhere, the Tamil film industry is fascinated with Ashwin’s rise to fame. The industry’s most versatile hero Kamal Haasan is all set to make a movie on Ashwin’s life. Rumour is rife that he is preparing himself to portray the roles of a 5 year old Ashwin, 14 year old Ashwin, 17 year old Ashwin and a 24 year old Ashwin. He will also play the characters of his mom, dad, grandfather, his lady love and his best friend. The movie is to be called Aayiram Avathaaram (Thousand Incarnations).