The CouchExpert

Goutham Chakravarthi

“Tendulkar waving the chequered flag at the Delhi Grand Prix is anti-national,” said former BCCI secretary J Y Lele at the launch of his book I Was There – Memoirs of a Cricket Administrator. He explained, “It would surmount to him figuratively accepting that he has had a chequered career. In my opinion, and as you would understand from reading my book, he was never wrong, it is just that the elders who adviced him were wrong. Sachin should only wave the national flag and no other flag.”

Is Tendulkar better than Schumacher?

The comment raged a nation-wide debate with Harbhajan stating, “When was the last time you saw Schumacher or a Vettel come to a cricket match and put up a banner for Sachin?”

Harbhajan fuelled fire to the discussion by cleverly comparing Schumacher to Tendulkar. He said, “Sachin’s straight driving is simply the best, better than even Schumacher’s driving down the straight!”

Indian Formula One drivers Karun Chandok and Narain Karthikeyan took offence to Harbhajan’s claims and said “It is time Harbhajan concentrated on cricket alone and not make comments about sportspersons or sports he has no clue about. His position in the Indian team is in jeopardy and it makes sense that he ensures that his mouth and cricket doesn’t spin out of control!”

“Spin out of control? The only time anything has spun out of control is when those two buffoons have been behind wheels in a Forumla One car. They are just rich kids who could afford to buy their way into Formula One. May be their wheelspin is more than the spin I impart on a cricket ball, it doesn’t mean they are right. Sachin’s driving is the best,” retorted the angry Harbhajan.

Meanwhile, joining from his home in Pakistan, the controversial speedster Shoaib Akhtar said, “Sachin is used to waving flags, don’t you worry. It is just that it is a chequered flag this time and it is a little different from the white flag he used to wave at me when I was about to mark my 2 kilometer run-up.”

And when asked who he thought would win the Delhi Grand Prix, he said, “I don’t care who. I bowled quicker than any of those cars can ever go and that’s that!” He strongly disagreed to having any interest in motor racing and said he would instead “spend the money eating chaat” on Sunday evening!

Asked for a reaction on Shoaib’s statement, Chairman of Selectors, Srikkanth said “Who cares as to what the buffoon says! All I am worried about is the usage of DRS in the race. After we categorically said no to any DRS, I am surprised that teams will be using DRS in the race. We are suing the ICC and FIA on this matter!”

When the Chairman of  Selectors was told that DRS expanded to Drag Reduction System in Formula One terminology, he said “They always say something but the intent is something else. The last time DRS ended up being Dravid Removal System, this time it can be Dhoni Removal System. We cannot take a chance. We are against anything DRS.”