Wick(et)Freaks – The CouchExpert
4 September, 2011
“Why is it that only when India are in a winning position, it rains here in England.”
Gavaskar’s idiosyncrasies resurface as the rain gods come in to play in Durham.
“Even Sunny-bhai couldn’t prevent Rainy-bhai from intervening during a good day for the Indians.”
Ravi “Tracer-Bullet” Shastri throws another grenade into the first ODI result.
“The Englishmen are jealous of the Indian slow-movers. What right does Nasser Hussain have in calling some of the Indian fielders’ donkeys? He could’ve called them a tortoise. Or he could’ve called them a snail. Or he could’ve called them the Mumbai traffic. Or he could’ve called them Inzys …”
Ravi “Tracer-Bullet” Shastri, once again, demonstrates his know-how on the slow moving objects of the world.
“Nasser complemented the Indians! He referred to them has Don Qui(xote)s – after the renowned Spainsh folklore legend Don Quixote.”
An ECB official with Spanish roots backs Nasser Hussain’s comments.
“I was watching the game in the hotel with Rob Key and he said Nasser did nothing wrong. He just referred to them as ‘Darn-Keys’, ‘cuz Rob was one of the slowest movers on the field. What is wrong with that?”
Swanny tweets as soon as the pundits start taking a swipe at Nasser.
“I think after 96 tests, and 196 visits to the Zoo, I am entitled to express my opinions on air. That is why Sky Sports and Animal Planet (whose contractual agreements with Nasser cannot be disclosed) are paying me to voice my opinion during this series. I think I’ve earned the rights to do so.”
Nasser explains why he had the rights to say what he ended up saying.
“At 50 years of age, I could get past those bouncers at the gates of Lancashire CC, even after they man-handled me. What is 23 year old Rohit going on about?”
David “Bumble” Lloyd isn’t too impressed with Rohit Sharma walking off after a bouncer sent him back retired hurt.
“Bumble was a great player, no hard feelings of course! Maybe I was scared, I’m sure I’ll meet him over a beer and resolve this.”
The party animal within Rohit Sharma uses the Bumble jibe to his advantage to drown a few pints as he clearly forgets why Bumble quit test cricket.
“@ImRo45 When and where are you meeting Bumble?”
Injured Indian World Cup star Yuvraj Singh quickly tweets after hearing Rohit’s comments.
“@yuvsingh09 hahahahahahahahahahaha!”
Kevin Pietersen, in turn, reacts to Yuvraj’s comments on Twitter.
“My dad reckons Dravid applied sun tan lotion on his bat instead, and it was cloudy in Durham.”
A former England captain’s son tweets after the Dravid dismissal.
“Michael Vaughan, once again, proves that he is an idiot. This time, he makes his son tweet on behalf of him.”
Saurav Ganguly war of words with Vaughan resume.
“I agree with Saurav. Vaughan is an idiot. He once told in public that my dad was hard to control as a player.”
The mystery kid, now revealed to be Flintoff Jr, agrees with Saurav’s comments, at least partially.
The CouchExpert 
Loved “Don Quis”!!! ROTFL.
LOL! Great to see things getting funny here (of course, among the players. The commentators are well ….. )